Morning Messages..

SMS #1

“d jadiin aja kdufannya,,maybe it ‘ll be our last trip hehe,, “

SMS #2

“i dont to make d same mistakes twice,,hm2,if they come here,just pretend nothing happen,,i dont want to make them disapointed,,”

SMS #3

“to open my heart for same kind of man,,”

SMS #4

“till now,,its hard for me to face it,,please dont ask me to open my heart aain, it was closed,,”

those r the messages that she sent me this morning.. my tears keep falling while i read those messages, n i keep reading it till now.. (T.T)

“d jadiin aja kdufannya,,maybe it ‘ll be our last trip hehe,, “

I don’t want it to be our last trip, i was planning to take u to dufan for a while now n it happen to be the same as budi wants, that’s why i got so excited about it, if u remember carefully dear, we weren’t in a relationship back then when i planned this trip we are about to start our journey together.. (T.T)

“i dont to make d same mistakes twice,,hm2,if they come here,just pretend nothing happen,,i dont want to make them disapointed,,”

if u think u’ll be making mistake by choosing to be with me, i assure u won’t, i’ll treasure u for the rest of my life.. i have nottin’ now, my world evolve around u since u accept me, i have to asked my friends for advice so i don’t make wrong move in this situation. please remember why u accepted me in the first place.. (T.T)

“to open my heart for same kind of man,,”

perhaps the man i WAS, was the same as him. but dear, the way i am NOW is not the same as him n the way i am NOW is not the same as i WAS.

“till now,,its hard for me to face it,,please dont ask me to open my heart again, it was closed,,”

thats the reality about me dear, i have the worst past that i have to live with, i’m not proud of it, but i think how am i doing now that defines me.. perhaps if i dont have those experience, i might be a different person now, n u probably wouldnt like it either way.. all i know that i got 2nd chance from 4JJI n i’ve promised my self i will make the best of it, especially after i met u, 4JJI is soo merciful to guide me along the way n make it work out between us.. if your heart already open for me, please i’m begging u on my knees not to close it.. if your heart hasn’t been open for me, please let me stay in front of your heart to wait until it open up for me. please dont shut me off from ur life… (T.T)

u don’t have to face my past dear, cause i already face it n get through it, i made out this far while bleeding n crying.. all i want u to do is look at me now, see through me.. cause u might not gonna find a man better than me..

-while listening PeterPan “Kisah Cintaku” -

P.S.

I Luv U (T.T)